Friday, August 30, 2013
Is your Mother AFRICAN? If you aren’t sure…this is how you verify it:
1. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has a drawer or a place for keeping paper bags after buying something in it.
2. You Know Your Mother Is African if when she beats you up she says "unalia nini na hata sijakuchapa?"
3. You Know Your Mother Is African when she beats you with pauses; nani *slap* alikuambia *kick* ufanye *pinch* hivyo!"
4. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has ever tried to remove anything that looks like dirt from your face with her saliva, even a birthmark.
5. You Know Your Mother Is African if she asks you questions that have no answers 'Kwanini ulivunja thermos?'
6. You Know Your Mother Is African if after whipping you she threatens you with, "na nisikie ukilia uone"
7. You Know Your Mother Is African If you accidentally break utensils made of glass she reacts with "Vunja Yote Umalize"
8. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has special plates and cups different levels of guests
9. You Know Your Mother Is African when even after you’ve grown up…she still sits you down and plaits your hair.
10. You Know Your Mother Is African if she ever told you "kama mimi sio mama yako, jaribu tu'
11. You Know Your Mother Is African when you are Tabu/ Angela, and she tells you "mwambie umetumwa na mama Tabu/Angela"
12. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has a list of neighbors and relatives where you should not dare step into."nione umepeleka miguu huko"
13. You Know Your Mother Is African When she calls you from the bedroom to bring her something that is right there on the table.
14. You Know Your Mother Is African If you fall asleep on the couch but wake up in your bed,well covered
15. You Know Your Mother Is African if every new baby in the family must have a deceased relative’s name
16. You Know Your Mother Is African if she threatens to hit you by actually hitting you!
17. You Know Your Mother Is African when you lose money and she says “shika hizi nyingine pia ukapoteze!
18. You Know Your Mother Is African when she buys you oversize uniform and says " hio utavaa hadi umalize shule"
19. You Know Your Mother Is African if you do something wrong she says "tunapiga makosa si wewe "
20. You Know Your Mother Is African if she spat on a handkerchief to wipe your face when you were young.
21. You Know Your Mother Is African when she is invited to a party and when she returns, she brings you the entire menu and soda in a paperbag or borrowed container.
22. You Know Your Mother Is African if you were beaten for eating at the neighbour's.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
It is your support that makes the Ngoma Africa band prosper, without you there will be no success!
Please, we ask you again to keep on supporting and let the band be on the top most position in every event, festival, media etc.
Let others around you join the band at www.ngoma-africa.com, here they will have the opportunity to enjoy music at www.ngoma-africa.com or http://www.ngoma-africa.com
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
FILL THE FORM IN OWN HAND
WRITTING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS.
I, _______________ , hereby apply to
marry your daughter Sir.
I am _____ years old.
Please answer the following questions
1. Do you go to church? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No.
4. Are you working? Yes/No.
5. Do you have a car? Yes/No.
If your answer to any of the above
was NO, do not continue. Leave my
house and don't look back. If all your
answers were YES, then continue.
1. In 50 words or more, describe the
disadvantages of cheating in
_______________ _____ _______________ _____
2. With the aid of a diagram, explain
how you can give respect to your
father in-law or
3. Suppose your wife says, "honey, I
money for my hair-style at the
saloon", what would you answer? ____
___________ _____ _______________ _____
4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
_______________ _____ _______________ _____
5. What does the term 'good
to you? _______________ _____ ____________
6. Do you have both dad and mum?
If No, explain why?
7. Were your parents
legally married? Yes/No. If YES, for
If the time of their marriage is less
than your age, explain why you were
born out of
8. Explain the meaning of ''COME
HOME EARLY" as used by women.
9. Give any THREE reasons that can
cause a man to sleep outside his
10. In case of divorce, who do you
the owner of the kids between father
Answer the following by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No.
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No.
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No.
LAST PART, BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.
1. When can you be free for
2. When can be the best time to
your dad? _______________ _____
3. When can I interview your mum?
Monday, August 26, 2013
Saturday, August 24, 2013
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
One of the biggest temptations we face in life is to fear. Many fears exist – fear of loss, failure, the past, etc. Fear robs us of our determination and will-power. It causes our hope to shrivel and die. Fear may have prevented you from making important decisions in your life. Fear and insecurity dominate the life without faith. Looking at life and its adversities from a natural point of view brings fear, worry and anxiety but a look of faith brings improvement. So, whatever your situation, don’t give in to fear. Keep the faith and take heart for God said: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 6 So we say with confidence,’ The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’ ” (Hebrews 13:5-6) Millions have surrendered to their fears while their hearts dream of a miracle. Don’t let this happen to you; overcome your fears today, in Jesus’ name!
Monday, August 19, 2013