Friday, August 30, 2013

YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER IS AFRICAN WHEN.....#JFL

Is your Mother AFRICAN? If you aren’t sure…this is how you verify it:

1. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has a drawer or a place for keeping paper bags after buying something in it.

2. You Know Your Mother Is African if when she beats you up she says "unalia nini na hata sijakuchapa?"

3. You Know Your Mother Is African when she beats you with pauses; nani *slap* alikuambia *kick* ufanye *pinch* hivyo!"

4. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has ever tried to remove anything that looks like dirt from your face with her saliva, even a birthmark.

5. You Know Your Mother Is African if she asks you questions that have no answers 'Kwanini ulivunja thermos?'

6. You Know Your Mother Is African if after whipping you she threatens you with, "na nisikie ukilia uone"

7. You Know Your Mother Is African If you accidentally break utensils made of glass she reacts with "Vunja Yote Umalize"

8. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has special plates and cups different levels of guests

9. You Know Your Mother Is African when even after you’ve grown up…she still sits you down and plaits your hair.

10. You Know Your Mother Is African if she ever told you "kama mimi sio mama yako, jaribu tu'

11. You Know Your Mother Is African when you are Tabu/ Angela, and she tells you "mwambie umetumwa na mama Tabu/Angela"

12. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has a list of neighbors and relatives where you should not dare step into."nione umepeleka miguu huko"

13. You Know Your Mother Is African When she calls you from the bedroom to bring her something that is right there on the table.

14. You Know Your Mother Is African If you fall asleep on the couch but wake up in your bed,well covered

15. You Know Your Mother Is African if every new baby in the family must have a deceased relative’s name

16. You Know Your Mother Is African if she threatens to hit you by actually hitting you!

17. You Know Your Mother Is African when you lose money and she says “shika hizi nyingine pia ukapoteze!

18. You Know Your Mother Is African when she buys you oversize uniform and says " hio utavaa hadi umalize shule"

19. You Know Your Mother Is African if you do something wrong she says "tunapiga makosa si wewe "

20. You Know Your Mother Is African if she spat on a handkerchief to wipe your face when you were young.

21. You Know Your Mother Is African when she is invited to a party and when she returns, she brings you the entire menu and soda in a paperbag or borrowed container.

22. You Know Your Mother Is African if you were beaten for eating at the neighbour's.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Special Thanks from Ngoma Africa ban

 
We are taking this opportunity to thank our entire fans around the globe for your support to this band.
It is your support that makes the Ngoma Africa band prosper, without you there will be no success!

Please, we ask you again to keep on supporting and let the band be on the top most position in every event, festival, media etc.
Let others around you join the band at www.ngoma-africa.com, here they will have the opportunity to enjoy music at www.ngoma-africa.com  or http://www.ngoma-africa.com
Booking at contact@ngoma-africa.com
Yours Sincerely
The Ngoma Africa Band

Msondo Ngoma Music Band


Msondo Ngoma Music Band (formerly known as NUTA Jazz Band, renamed Juwata Jazz Band, and then OTTU Jazz Band) is an influential and long-lived Tanzanian muziki wa dansi (Bongo Dansi). Having been established in 1964, it is the oldest active dansi band in Tanzania as well in Africa.

The band began in 1964 and was originally named "NUTA Jazz Band", after its sponsor, the National Union of Tanganyika (NUTA), which was the main Tanzanian trade union. In the early years of dansi, the NUTA Jazz Band was very influential both artistically and in terms of financial organization; namely, it was one of the first dansi bands to constitute itself into a "cooperative" of salaried musicians (a model that would become widespread in the 1970s).
In the 1960s, NUTA Jazz Band was led by trumpeter-singer  late Joseph Lusungu  and saxophonist Mnenge Ramadhani, who defined the brass-centered sound of the band.
NUTA Jazz Band held its position as one of the major Tanzanian dansi bands throughout the latter half of the 1960s and most of the 1970s. In 1977 it experienced a major change in personnel, with many of its most talented musicians (including Muhiddin Maalim Gurumo and Hassani Rehani Bitchuka) leaving the band to form a new ensemble, Mlimani Park Orchestra. In 1977, the band changed its name to "Juwata Jazz", after the Swahili name of its sponsor (NUTA), Jumuiya ya Wafanyakazi Tanzania. About at the same time, guitarist Saidi Mabera became the new leader of the band. He wrote several of Juwata's hit songs of the 1980s. After Mabera, both Maalim and Bitchuka (who rejoined the band in 1991) became leaders. Muhidini Gurumo is credited with on the major hits of Juwata in the 1990s, Usia kwa watoto.
The band changed its name again in 1991 from Juwata Jazz to OTTU Jazz, when the trade union that sponsored it was renamed Organization of Tanzanian Trade Unions. The band is still active as "Msondo Ngoma", performing regularly at the DCC Club in Kariakoo,Dar-es-salaam for example,and is the oldest active dansi band in Tanzania as well as in Africa. This is reflected by its motto baba ya muziki, "father of music".
"Msondo Ngoma Music Band"  also known as "Baba ya Muziki" means "father of Music" .
You may book or Contact band manager Mr. Kibiriti 
Telephone +255 (0)655921223

ORDER YOUR WEDDING DRESS FROM IRELAND

 CONTACT GLORY (call & whatsapp) +255-714-536-682





















Tuesday, August 27, 2013

APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER.

FILL THE FORM IN OWN HAND
WRITTING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS.

I, _______________ , hereby apply to
marry your daughter Sir.
I am _____ years old.
Please answer the following questions
honestly.

1. Do you go to church? Yes/No

2. Do you have a degree or diploma?
Yes/No.

3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No.

4. Are you working? Yes/No.

5. Do you have a car? Yes/No.
If your answer to any of the above
questions
was NO, do not continue. Leave my
house and don't look back. If all your
answers were YES, then continue.

1. In 50 words or more, describe the
disadvantages of cheating in
marriage.
_______________ _____ _______________ _____

2. With the aid of a diagram, explain
how you can give respect to your
father in-law or
mother in-law.

3. Suppose your wife says, "honey, I
need
money for my hair-style at the
saloon", what would you answer? ____
___________ _____ _______________ _____

4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
_______________ _____ _______________ _____

5. What does the term 'good
husband' mean
to you? _______________ _____ ____________
___ _____

6. Do you have both dad and mum?
Yes/No.
If No, explain why?

7. Were your parents
legally married? Yes/No. If YES, for
how long?

If the time of their marriage is less
than your age, explain why you were
born out of
wedlock.

8. Explain the meaning of ''COME
HOME EARLY" as used by women.
(100 words)

9. Give any THREE reasons that can
cause a man to sleep outside his
house.

10. In case of divorce, who do you
think is
the owner of the kids between father
and
mother?

Answer the following by Yes or No.

1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No.

2. Do you smoke? Yes/No.

3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No.

LAST PART, BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

1. When can you be free for
interviews?
_______________ _____

2. When can be the best time to
interview
your dad? _______________ _____

3. When can I interview your mum?
_______________ _____

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Jokate ft. Lucci - Kaka Dada


Job Interview Question

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

OVERCOME YOUR FEARS

One of the biggest temptations we face in life is to fear. Many fears exist – fear of loss, failure, the past, etc. Fear robs us of our determination and will-power. It causes our hope to shrivel and die. Fear may have prevented you from making important decisions in your life. Fear and insecurity dominate the life without faith. Looking at life and its adversities from a natural point of view brings fear, worry and anxiety but a look of faith brings improvement. So, whatever your situation, don’t give in to fear. Keep the faith and take heart for God said: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 6 So we say with confidence,’ The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’ ” (Hebrews 13:5-6) Millions have surrendered to their fears while their hearts dream of a miracle. Don’t let this happen to you; overcome your fears today, in Jesus’ name!
 source; https://www.facebook.com/tbjministries

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

FFU wa Ngoma Africa band wamechukua tena International Diaspora Award 2013 Bendi bora ya kiafrika ulaya.

Si nyingine bali Ngoma Africa band aka FFU ilifanikiwa kuutetea ubingwa wake wa bendi bora na kujichukulia Tuzo ya kimataifa ya IDA kule mjini Tubingen,Ujerumani katika maonyesho ya kimataifa ya International African Festival Tubingen 2013.
Bendi hiyo maarufu kwa kuwatia kiwewe washabiki na mdunduko wake imevunja rekodi kwa kuwa na washabiki wa kimataifa kila pembe.
Katika maonyesho ya International African festival 2013,yaliyofanyika mjini Tubingen,ujerumani Ngoma Africa band imekubalika sio na washabiki tu bali pia
mabalozi kutoka nchi mbali mbali za kiafrika nchini Ujerumani ! bendi
Tusikose kuwasikiliza ffu at www.ngoma-africa.com au http://www.ngoma-africa.com
 


 

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

Milushar
When you are happy / content with God's love for you, it shows on the inside and out.

Be blessed and let others be blessed through you.

Photo by: Milushar***