Saturday, December 31, 2011

2012













HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2012!!

Hey'all,

Happy new year....i know y'all must be so excited to see the new year (also known as the end of the world) lol..I do believe that it's a new begining everyday and 2012 is gonna be such a blessing.
I pray for God's wisdom to do the right thing at the right time, all the time...I WISH YOU GUYS THE BEST IN 2012, I WISH YOU LOVE, HAPPINESS, JOY AND A HUMBLE HEART IN 2012.
ME LUV U ALL.




Monday, December 26, 2011

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!! DAAAMN.



No matter what age you are or level of dating experience, reading men’s interest in you can be a struggle. Many men prefer to remain a mystery, opting for privacy in all areas of their lives until they are ready to make a major commitment. God bless the fella who will tell you his intentions up front. But for most men, catching on to their subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues can be an easier way to get their message and avoid unnecessary heartbreak. If you are wondering if your guy is on the fence, but are unsure of whether you should jet, here are 14 telltale signs that he is just not that into you. If anyone you are seeing exhibits a significant number of these traits, it is time to tell him to move along.

1. He takes forever to text or email you back
In this technological age, there is nothing easier than sending someone a quick email or text. If your male companion takes hours — or even days — to respond to these simple forms of communication with even one line of acknowledgment, it’s time to kick him to the curb. This is not only lazy — it’s also rude. He might not be sending you a text message, but he is certainly sending you a clear message of another kind. On to the next one!
2. He maintains physical and emotional distance
Does he often break eye contact, even in private? Or withhold sharing personal details about his life? On the physical and emotional levels, a guy who will not share just doesn’t want to go too deep. That can be fine for a fling, but it’s not worth making an emotional investment on your part. If you have had your fun, it’s time to move on to brighter horizons.
3. He never comes over to your house
Men don’t like to go out of their way — especially if they are not that into you. A guy who likes you wants to make efforts to show you are special to him. Someone who won’t even drive to your house or take the subway can’t be expected to give much in the long term. There are other top-notch fish in the sea. Trust.
4. He avoids touching you in public
If your guy friend loves to embrace, kiss and cuddle in the privacy of your home, but won’t even hold your hand on the street, this is a major warning sign. Either he doesn’t want to be seen as being “with” you, or he is scared one of his other lovers (or his wife!) will see you out in public. Drop this dude if he won’t even hold your hand.
5. He rudely shoots down your ideas
A guy can disagree with your way of seeing the world and still care. If all he does is disrespectfully disregard your perspective when communicating, he likely doesn’t think much of you. You don’t want to be with someone who can’t treat you nicely, especially when you are simply talking. Next!
6. He only sees you after midnight
It’s hard if you really like someone to open your eyes and admit to yourself that to him, you are a booty call. If you can handle that, more power to you. But don’t expect this relationship to go anywhere. If you want more from a man, it’s time to search elsewhere.
7. He won’t let you leave things at his house
If you are at his place often, a guy who is into you will be happy to let you stow essentials there. But if someone you are frequently dating won’t even let you leave a toothbrush at his house he is either a) an obsessive compulsive neat freak, or b) trying to hide you from other women. In either case, you might want to distance yourself.
8. He attends major events without you
Friend’s house party? Parents’ anniversary dinner? Maybe even his own birthday? Sometimes a man wants to maintain his independence. And at other times he wants to ensure that you don’t get too involved in his life so he can move on any time. If he never wants you around at a time of life that’s meaningful, you don’t mean that much to him. You also have better ways to spend your time — with family and friends who really care.
9. He refuses to make future plans with you — short- or long-termDoes this guy squeeze you into the corners of his life? Refuse to plan weekends away? Keep his schedule open weeks in advance? If he only makes last-minute plans with you, while cramming in other activities with friends, he is just not that into you. Sorry, but you deserve better.
10. He flakes out on plans you do have at the last minute
This is another clear sign that he does not respect you or your time. Make room in your life for someone who does.
11. He’s already involved with someone else
This man might say he loves you, but if he is seriously involved with another women, he can’t really be giving you his all. He is a man divided, so how into you could he be? Worse, even if he did leave his mate for you, he has lied to her. He will likely lie to you. You don’t want that. Stay strong and carry on to another man.
12. He doesn’t seem that interested in intimacy
If your sex life with dude is little to nothing, he is basically saying that he can do without you. This is rude, frustrating, and a little cruel. You don’t need that. Do what you’ve got to do for you, and find that man who makes you feel desirable.
13. He pulls a disappearing act
When you don’t see a man for days, weeks or months at a time without explanation, he is just not that into you. He might be seeing other people, or simply doesn’t want to spend his time with you. If you aren’t seen as life-enhancing by this man, take the time to find someone who cherishes you. Your time, energy and love are worth it.
14. He encourages you to date other people
This is a sure sign that he wants to be totally free, and is not in a mind to commit himself. You probably won’t change him, so why waste your time? No guy is worth it. You deserve a man who wants to spend quality time with you, and reflects back to you your own self worth. There are people out there who will treat you with loving respect. If your significant other exhibits many of these behaviors, take the hint and resist investing another minute. You deserve the best in life. Keep striving until you find the love you deserve.

Merry Christmas everybody

Hey guys, i wish you a lovely christmas, and i hope y'all have a wild one (in a good way) xoxo


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

OOOOH SANTA BABY

Guys, this is one of my favourite christmas songs, and i wanna share it with y'all.
Merry Christmas
Santa Baby


Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, For me.
been an awful good girl, Santa baby,
so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,
Light blue.
I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,
Next year I could be just as good,
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,
And really that's not a lot,
Been an angel all year,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,
The deed
To a platinum mine,
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,
And checks.
Sign your 'X' on the line,
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,
I really do believe in you,
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,
A ring.
I don't mean on the phone,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry down the chimney tonight,
Hurry, tonight.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

JOKES

BEST WAY TO GET RID OF YOUR HUSBAND :)

During a robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.

He looked at a man and asked. Did you see my face?

The man said yes! The robber shot him.

Then he asked a woman. Did you see my face?

She said no, but my husband over there did.

Examples of stupid questions people can ask these days!!!!!
1. When people see you lying down, with your eyes closed they still ask:
- Are you sleeping?
A: No! I'm training to die?:)

2. When It's raining and someone notices you going out, they ask:
- Are you going out in this rain?
A: No,in the next one.:|

3. Your friend calls your home phone:
- Where are you?
A: At the bus stop!:/

4. They see you wet coming from the bathroom:
- Did you just have a bath?
A: No, I fell in the toilet bowl!8-|

5. You are standing right in front of the elevator on the ground floor and they ask:
- Going up?
A: No, no, I am waiting for my apartment to come down and get me.>:O >:O >:O

6. Your boyfriend comes to your house with a bunch of flowers. And you still ask him:
- are those Flowers?
A: No baby! They are Carrots.:*

7. You're in the toilet when someone knocks on the door asking:
- Is anyone in there?
A: No! The SHIT is talking to you!:D?

10. You're in the queue to buy tickets @ the cinema, a friend saw u & ask:
- what are u doing here?
A: I'm here to pay my school fees :D.

THIS IS CALLED BEING SMART
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

WHO IS MORE POWERFUL HERE?
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a roomeveryone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."=))

OXFORD SHOULD MAKE THIS A NEW DEFINITION OF MIXED EMOTIONS

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car....

Thursday, December 15, 2011

This just made my DAY.



PARAPROSDOKIANS 

Here is the definition:"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.  Ok, so now enjoy!
 

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. 

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip. 

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were. 

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. 



30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. 

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

JOKES





I'm so ugly. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.


I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

JUST A JOKE

A Tourist in Zanzibar had a friend as an interpreter by the name of Mr.Makeke. When in a small restaurant in town interpretation English to Kiswahili went like this:

Tourist: Do you have vegetables here.
Makeke: Mnavyo vijimeza hapa.

Waiter: Vijimeza vidogo hatuna.
Makeke: No sir, they don't have.

Tourist: OK, fine, do you have hot dogs.
Makeke: Sawa, je mnao mbwa wa moto.

Waiter: Loh! Bwana we, hatupiki mbwa hapa.
Makeke: They don't cook here

Tourist: What type of snacks do you have here?
Makeke: Aina ngapi ya nyoka mnao hapa,

Waiter: We bwana we hapa hatupiki aina yeyote ya nyoka, mwache akale nyumbani kwao.
Makeke: They don't cook any type of snacks here, maybe you can go back and eat at home.

Tourist: OK, at least give us a cocktail juice.
Makeke: OK, tupatie hata juisi ya mkia wa jogoo.

Waiter: Hebu tokeni na bangi lenu hapa, tena sasa hivi kabla sijakasirika.
Makeke: Lets get out of here, I think this man is crazy!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Problem Solver!!

Someone sent me this email today, i wanna share it with u.




The Problem Solver
Do you have a problem on your mind? Is it weighing so heavily that you cannot relax? Has the enemy convinced you that there is no solution? Nonsense! There is no problem made by man or devil that God cannot solve on your behalf.
Get your eyes off the bigness of your problem and put them on the bigness of your God!
If you keep your eyes on your problem, the devil will use your circumstances to defeat you. Determine that this problem will be a doorway to new growth in your life, that somehow God will turn the situation around to glorify Himself. Determine that not only will your needs be met, but that you will find the character of God blossoming forth in you because this difficult experience has driven you closer to Him.
Remember that when you give your problem to the Lord, just because you don't see an immediate change it doesn't mean that God is not in control. There may be people He is dealing with and situations that must transpire before you see His behind-the-scenes handiwork revealed.
God has an answer to every problem, no matter how great the struggle or how deep the pain. Cry out to Him in your need and know that His help is on the way even this very moment.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them, He delivers them from all their troubles (Psalm 34:17). 


I feel blessed for this amazing lady who sends me inspiring and amazing emails every week. 

xoxo

Tuesday, December 6, 2011