Uprooting the Spirit of Rejection: The Solution to All of Mans Problems

I can watch this video 1000 times.

The Power of Influence

Hello,

Today I want to talk about the power of influence. We can set children up for success through influencing them, or allowing them to have access to people who will influence them. I have read a few articles about this the day this thought came to me and I must say, I very much agree with them. Others use the term role model to explain this point. But whichever way you look at it, role model or influencer, I strongly believe that, we are capable of achieving a lot in life because of the examples we see which one way or the other work as a living testimony to us. 

From my personal experience, I used to think getting the first division in A levels is impossible for me because I always thought "they" the super smart, very serious genius people, are the only ones who can get division one. I used to think that getting selected to go to a government school for High School is for the genius folks, until one day, a friend who was a few years older than me passed her form four exams and was selected to a government school. You see, before that, it felt like it was a blessing for the genius, and usually, if you don't hang around the group of people who get straight A's in school, then you don't think you are capable of being an A student. Seeing that a person who was so close to me, did so well in school and was able to go to a government school for her High School, it gave me hope. She influenced me. And by God's grace I did well in my form four exams and was selected to got a government school for my A Level. I wasn't able to go to that school because of health issues that I had at the time, but the minute that dream became a reality, my mind was unstoppable. 

To make things even better, the same girl passed her A levels with division one, and she said it wasn't so hard, and that I could do it too. And so I did. I became "the people" I used to look at and think their minds were wired differently, but truth be told, it all took seeing someone do it, someone close enough that it took away that "they" mentality and transformed it into a "we" mentality. I was encouraged and I believed anything was possible. Then one fine day, a neighbor whom I call aunt told my mother about a fully funded scholarship program for undergraduate programs. Boy oh boy, no one close to me had a scholarship, that sounded like a "they" opportunity. Now mind you, even with a division one in my pocket, it still didn't seem possible, not because I wasn't "smart" enough for the scholarship, but I had never seen anyone close to me get a scholarship so I didn't believe I would be selected, until I did. 

Ever since that scholarship opportunity, I told myself that I'll get a scholarship to do my Master's degree as well. Now you see, me being able to get the scholarship for a bachelor's degree, influenced me and gave me the confidence to apply for a scholarship for a Master's degree. 

One day at one of my former jobs, I came across these ladies who were my age, and some younger, who had positions in the Parliament of our Country. Before meeting them face to face, I always thought "they" were different from me. But the day I came face to face with them, interacted with them and got to know some of them, then the light bulb went on again, the "we" mentality kicked in. We are not so different after all, if they did it, so can I. I am not in the Parliament nor holding any government position but I realized that, before meeting those Members of the Parliament, they were not my role model per se, but after meeting them, I was influenced and encouraged to believe that even I stand a chance to be like them. Before my friend got selected to a government school, or before she got a division one, I didn't think it was anywhere close to my lane, until she did it then I was influenced and encouraged to study hard and achieve what she achieved. Before getting my first scholarship, I thought it was a privilege for certain group of people, until I got a scholarship and was influenced and encouraged to apply for yet another scholarship. 

I am writing this to encourage those who were on "they" mentality, to look out for role models or influencers around them. Sometimes, you might just be your own influencer. That feeling of knowing you once got straight As, what's holding you back from getting them next semester, and the one after that? What's holding you from getting a job that pays you $70k+ yearly if you've once been able to get that much? We are mostly limited by our own mind because we don't know its possible until we do it, or until we see someone close to us do it. It's good to have far and distant role models like famous celebrities and other public figures, but there is power in having a role model or influencer who is close to you, someone you can have access to, someone you can speak to, someone you can have interaction with. Our minds can't make excuses for people we are close to, but it can make excuses for people who are far away. Be exposed, be influenced.

Starting over may or may not be a good thing

I used to be traumatized by the idea of starting over in life but I am now becoming accustomed to it and sadly, it comes with fear of owning things and loving people.

To me starting over is nothing but a waste of time, resources, energy and can make one lose hope. From a business perspective, starting over may not be so bad, or perhaps it is even applauded and encouraged, but on a personal level, it stings! An article I read talks about how starting over can be a good thing, I agree and yet disagree for various reasons.

Imagine furnishing your home, only for you to move and having to sell things at a loss. This makes me wonder, is it worth it? Is it worth it spending your hard earned money to buy things that you wont be keeping long enough because someday you might have to start all over again? Should you buy a car only to sell it at a loss after a year or two of using it only because you have to move? Now imagine doing this multiple times in less than 5 years, and along the way you feel like you are fighting a battle that you just can’t seem to win. 

Starting over breaks my heart because it slowly takes away the joy of doing certain things in life. It makes me question the importance and the necessity of things, creative ideas and relationships, in this world full of uncertainty. It makes me question the idea of stability. Is life stable enough for me to have a family and for them to have a place they can call home for a good chunk of years, like how I grew up? 

Sometimes, I am reminded of the “Groundhog Day” movie where the main actor had to relive the same day over and over until he figured out what it is he needed to fix or change about himself for him to continue living the rest of his days. I wonder, am I doing something wrong? Should I be learning something through this starting over lifestyle? 

If anything at all, I am learning not to value things because they come and go - which is a good thing, but this fear creeps in with the fear of having relationships because those too might be lost in the process. If I were to put a price tag on every item, relationship and opportunity I have had to let go of because of this “starting over” lifestyle, then I may wonder if I will ever desire to have anything in life because comfort and long-lasting is not guaranteed (at least not yet). 

The one thing I can embrace from starting over, is my new found decision to save money and travel as well as buy experiences rather than things, because those memories are more likely to last. 

I am inspired

Hey y'all,

Have you ever watched a movie and felt some type of emotion, and watch it again in a few years and still feel the same way? That happened to me today, I remember watching the famous "La Bamba" movie back in the 90's as a kid and I cried my eyes out at the end. It was a very emotional and heart felt movie. I got to know the La Bamba song because of that movie, and I have never sang any other version of that song except for Ritchie Valens' version. I came across the movie on Netflix and decided to watch it again, except this time, I cried from the beginning to the end. I cried because I already know what was going to happen, but I also cried when I heard all those songs again, I didn't think I would still remember them, and the fact that it was based on a true story of a young boy, who at 17 changed the face of music and the lives of many.

This movie has reminded me of what we need to do in life - live a legacy. Do something that will cause generations to come not only remember you, but also inspire to be the best they can be, because you showed them it's possible. 

After watching the movie, I went on google and did a little research on Ritchie Valens. According to Wikipedia, he enjoyed his recording career for 8 months before he died at the age of 17 years old. I am yet reminded that you don't have to live 50 years to make an impact, that is what I learned from this film. 

Know what you want and work on it from a very young age. According to Wikipedia, Ritchie Valens worked on his music from the age of 5 years old. By the time he became famous for his music, he was already perfect in his craft. This movie as well as the lives of many talented legends (dead or alive) reminds me that preparation is key. Perfect your craft at every chance you get because one day preparation will meet opportunity and success will be yours. 

Have a blessed and inspired week my lovies.