The months of July and August have taught me one of the hardest lessons: let them.
No, I have not read The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. This is my own theory—one that has recently shown me that, sometimes, our love and desire to influence people’s lives can unintentionally lead them astray or cause them harm.
We are all wired differently for a reason. I, for one, like to simplify things to the point that even an eight-year-old could easily understand them. Then there are those who are creatures of habit. They will do the same thing in the same way every time, even when an easier approach exists.
When you try to introduce change into these people’s lives, you may cause more harm than good.
They may do things halfway your way and halfway their own way. Sadly, this usually does not work. Or they may follow your way but need your guidance from beginning to end.
The second approach is not necessarily bad. In fact, it shows that they are willing to learn. The challenge arises when they do it with a great deal of resistance. That resistance may sound like, “Well, I told you it wouldn’t work,” whenever they encounter an obstacle.
The pain of hearing that you led someone astray—when you believed you had shown them a clear path—is simply heartbreaking.
We are then left wondering: Do we continue to help, assist, teach, or show someone we love another, simpler way? Or do we let them continue along the path they know, so that when they face challenges, we are not the ones blamed in the end?
Sometimes, perhaps, the most loving thing we can do is simply let them.
Xoxo,
MamaTembo
