Saturday, August 27, 2016

USITHUBUTU KUTIZAMA MPIRA UKIWA NA MWANAMKE NI QUESTION QUESTION STRESS TUPU

Mke: Honey timu gani zinacheza leo?

Mume: Arsenal vs Manchester Utd

Mke: oooh safi sana, ninaipenda Arsenal.

Mume: Safi hiyo timu nzuri sana, hujakosea Darling.

Mke: Drogba anacheza?

Mume: Drogba hachezei timu yoyote kati ya hizi zinazocheza hapa.

Mke: Okey sweety. Oh huyo ni Chriss Brown?

Mume: [akiwa ameboreka]
Hapana huyo ni Theo Walcott.

Mke: Ahaa ila wanafanana sana. Hiyo kadi ya njano aliyoonyeshwa huyo mchezaji n ya nin?

Mume: Hilo ni onyo kwa mchezaji aliyeonesha utovu wa nidhamu kwenye mchezo.

Baada ya dakika chache Wayne Rooney akafunga gori la kwanza kwa Manchester utd

Mke: [Huku akishangilia pasina kujua timu yake ndiyo iliyofungwa]
Oh oh Mume wangu Huyo ni walcot ndio amefunga goli ee?

Mume: [akiwa mpolee baada ya kufungwa]
Hapana sio Walcott ni Rooney ndio ameifunga Arsenal.

Mke: [akiwa amefura hasira]
Kwanini? Ilitakiwa Arsenal ndio ashinde.

Mume: [kimya]

Mke: Hiyo kadi nyekundu aliyoonyeshwa huyo mwenye kiduku ni ya nini?

Mume: [akiwa ameboreka kweli kweli]
Hiyo kadi nyekundu inamaanisha kwamba mchezaji atoke nje kutokana na kufanya madhambi uwanjani.

Mke: Kwaio akitoka nje anaenda kuwa kocha?

Mume: [akiwa amechoshwa na maswali ya mkewe huku akiwa hana utayari wa kujibu]
Aaaaaaaa Hapana wife. Anatoka nje kabisa hatakiwi kuonekana hata kwenye benchi la ufundi.

Mke: kwaio kadi nyekundu ni kama taa za barabarani.
Njano=Onyo
Nyekundu=Hatari

Mume: [akijibu tu ilimradi yaishe]
Haswaaa mke wangu, hivyo hivyo.

Mke: Vipi kuhusu kadi ya kijani

Mume: mmmmmh hapana kitu kama hicho katika mpira wa miguu.

Mke: Nataka Arsenal ishinde kombe la Dunia

Mume: [akaguna]
Kombe la dunia ni mashindano ya mpira wa miguu baina ya nchi na nchi na Arsenal sio nchi ni klabu ya mpira. Inacheza kwenye ligi ya Uingereza

Mke: Ni nani huyo mbaba aliyesimama amevaa koti refu na anapua ndefu anaefanana na Mr. Bean?b

Mume: [akiwa ameboreka haswa]
Huyo ni kocha wa Arsenal anaitwa Arsene Wenger.

Mke: Kwaio inamaanisha kwamba kocha wa hiyo timu pinzani anaitwa Machester Wenger?

Mume: [akabadilisha channel na kuweka TBC1 kipindi cha chereko
⚽🏃

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Getting fired may turn out to be a blessing in disguise

When I read The Citizen newspaper I make it a point to read what Seraphine Rligirwa-Kamara writes, very useful information if I may say so.

Source: The Citizen Newspaper page 11.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Joke

Ticha: Wa kwanza kujibu swali langu ataenda
         Home mapema.

John: Karusha begi la daftari nje.

Ticha: Nani karusha begi nje!?!

John: Mimi..... Kwa herii Mwalimu.

Meet n' Mingle location

Here are directions to @wateringhole_patio  where we'll be having Meet n' Mingle event this coming saturday 27th August 2016 from 8:00p.m to 11:30p.m. for more information contact the numbers on our profile. @meetnmingletz

#meetnmingle
#meetsomeonenew
#meetnewpeople
#afunwaytomeetnewpeople
#havefun
#nightout
#network
#networkingwithatwist
#speeddate

Monday, August 22, 2016

R.I.P songbird bi Shakila

                                                           Mapenzi Yamepungua (Live Taarab)

Meet n' Mingle 27th August 2016

Come experience networking with a twist at Meet n' Mingle. Meet new people and have amazing conversations. We will be at the Watering Hole Patio (Tuk Tuk Thai), Masaki. Please be early. Registration is at 8 sharp. Entry Tsh. 5000/- only.
@meetnmingletz
#meetnmingle
#speeddate
#networkingwithatwist
#afunwaytomeetnewpeople

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Hahahha!!

Whoever came up with this is too funny. Copied and pasted as received.

DIFFERENCE BTW AN AMERICAN FACEBOOK POST AND A TANZANIAN FACEBOOK POST AMERICAN POST:

Hello, my name is Sandra Stone, I am from New York, I love my husband so much and I can do Anything to please him...But recently I am falling for his cousin, what should I do?

COMMENTS:

James Silva :I think u need to talk to your husband because marriage is all about communication.

Sarah water : Oh my dear, sorry abt that.. Have been in your shoes before, I had to wake up and face the fact that I am married.

Michael paper : well just remove your mind from him and make your husband do the things you like in his cousin.

TANZANIAN POST:

Mambo zenu,naitwa Brenda Thomas,nimeolewa na nina watoto wawili,nampenda mume wangu sana ila hapa juzi kuna binamu yake amekuja na nimetokea kumpenda kimapenzi,naombeni ushauri nifanyeje? (Watakatifu na wenye mapovu mtoke kama huna la kushauri kaa pembeni)

TANZANIAN COMMENTS:

Dubo:naskia hainaga ushemeji tunakulagaaaaaa

Zuwena Abdala:mpe bwana weee kwani sh ngapi,si yako?

Stella John:may thunder fire you and cut you into small pieces

Kenneth Phillip:na mimi nataka naomba

Shiko John:unamuaibisha mumeo tu,mwanamke huna haya

Swalleh:nani ana charger ya pini ndogo?

Alice Mbiti:ongeza matako,maziwa na weupe,watsapp for more information

Baraka Salim:nimekuja na povu na omo sasa nikupe na boxer zangu ufue?

Mbilinyi John:how does that affect the price of sugar in the market?

Aloyce John: Je unataka ufanikiwe katika maisha yako? Je wajua siri ya mafanikio ya watu matajiri. Hudhuria kikao cha watu wenye nia kama yako nikupe siri kupitia bidhaa za *Forever Living Products*

Mungumbukege:Yesu rudi babaaa rudii.

Tanzanians will always be tanzanians. Hahahahhaha

Monday, August 15, 2016

Mswidish - Mtanzania mwenye ndoto za kuondokana na mazingira machafu Tanzania






Erica Sandberg ni Mswidish Mtanzania mwenye ndoto za kuhamasisha watanzania kutumia begi zisizo za plastiki wakati wa kufanya wanunuzi ili kuondokana na mazingira machafu yanayo sababishwa na utupaji ovyo wa mifuko ya plastiki. Kampuni yake ya mifuko hiyo ameipa jina la DUNIANI jina la kiswahili. Hongera sana kwa kazi yako, tunasubiri uje Tanzania tuanze kutumia mifuko hiyo.

follow her on facebook by checking out this link

Friday, August 12, 2016

Mtanzania aliyewakilisha Tanzania kwenye Olympics




Hilal Hemed Hilal alishiriki kwenye mashindano hayo siku ya jana tarehe 11 mwezi wa nane 2016, kwenye kitengo cha kuogelea mita 50 cha wanaume na kumaliza shindano mapema kuzidi washindani wenzake hivyo kuchukua nafasi ya kwanza.

Hongera sana Hilal Hemed Hilal kwa kuiwakilisha Tanzania vyema.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Just a thought


Creation is silent


A seed grows with no sound but a tree falls with huge noise. Destruction has noise, but creation is silent. In your success remain silent as there is power in silence. Grow Silently. Cultivate in Silence.
A farmer discovered that he had lost his watch in the barn. It was no ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him. After searching high and low among the hay for a long while, he gave up and enlisted the help of a group of children playing outside the barn. He promised them that the person who found it would be rewarded. Hearing this, the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the entire stack of hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up looking for his watch, a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance. The farmer looked at him and thought, “Why not? After all, this kid looks sincere enough.” So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn. After a while the little boy came out with the watch in his hand! The farmer was both happy and surprised and so he asked the boy how he succeeded where the rest had failed. The boy replied, “I did nothing but sat on the ground and listened. In the silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.”
A peaceful mind can think better than a worked up mind. Sometimes the noise in our life is so much with no clarity on what to do. The mind seems so occupied with lots of thoughts that promote fear, discouragement & anxiety. Let peace guard your heart all the time. Consciously clear your head and mind; be patient and listen.
MAY YOU  SUCCEED EVEN WHERE OTHERS HAVE FAILED.
Source : unknown