YOU KNOW YOUR MOTHER IS AFRICAN WHEN.....#JFL

Is your Mother AFRICAN? If you aren’t sure…this is how you verify it:

1. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has a drawer or a place for keeping paper bags after buying something in it.

2. You Know Your Mother Is African if when she beats you up she says "unalia nini na hata sijakuchapa?"

3. You Know Your Mother Is African when she beats you with pauses; nani *slap* alikuambia *kick* ufanye *pinch* hivyo!"

4. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has ever tried to remove anything that looks like dirt from your face with her saliva, even a birthmark.

5. You Know Your Mother Is African if she asks you questions that have no answers 'Kwanini ulivunja thermos?'

6. You Know Your Mother Is African if after whipping you she threatens you with, "na nisikie ukilia uone"

7. You Know Your Mother Is African If you accidentally break utensils made of glass she reacts with "Vunja Yote Umalize"

8. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has special plates and cups different levels of guests

9. You Know Your Mother Is African when even after you’ve grown up…she still sits you down and plaits your hair.

10. You Know Your Mother Is African if she ever told you "kama mimi sio mama yako, jaribu tu'

11. You Know Your Mother Is African when you are Tabu/ Angela, and she tells you "mwambie umetumwa na mama Tabu/Angela"

12. You Know Your Mother Is African if she has a list of neighbors and relatives where you should not dare step into."nione umepeleka miguu huko"

13. You Know Your Mother Is African When she calls you from the bedroom to bring her something that is right there on the table.

14. You Know Your Mother Is African If you fall asleep on the couch but wake up in your bed,well covered

15. You Know Your Mother Is African if every new baby in the family must have a deceased relative’s name

16. You Know Your Mother Is African if she threatens to hit you by actually hitting you!

17. You Know Your Mother Is African when you lose money and she says “shika hizi nyingine pia ukapoteze!

18. You Know Your Mother Is African when she buys you oversize uniform and says " hio utavaa hadi umalize shule"

19. You Know Your Mother Is African if you do something wrong she says "tunapiga makosa si wewe "

20. You Know Your Mother Is African if she spat on a handkerchief to wipe your face when you were young.

21. You Know Your Mother Is African when she is invited to a party and when she returns, she brings you the entire menu and soda in a paperbag or borrowed container.

22. You Know Your Mother Is African if you were beaten for eating at the neighbour's.