Wednesday, October 31, 2012

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER


My Dear Husband, I'm writing this letter to tell u that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to u for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks haven been hell. Your boss called to tell me that u left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, 
you came home and u didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new night gown. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You didn't tell me u love me anymore, u didn't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either u are cheating on me or u don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone....

YOUR EX-WIFE 

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER and I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!....

REPLY : 

Dear Ex-Wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true u and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what u have been. I watch TV soaps so much becoz they down out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad that doesnt work anymore. I did notice when u got a hairdo last week, but the 1st thing that came to my mind was 'you look just like a boy!'. Since my father raised me not to say anything if u can't say something nice, I didn't comment. When u cooked my favorite meal, u must have got me confused with MY BROTHER becoz I haven't eaten prawns for 7 years. About the new night gown, I turned away from u becoz the $299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $300 from me that morning. After all of this, i still loved u and felt we could work it out. So when I won the $20 million Lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought 2 tickets for us to Paris, but when I got home u were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope u have fulfilling life u always wanted. My lawyer said that the LETTER u wrote ensures u won't get a dollar from me. So take care... 
Signed....
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell And Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told u this, but my brother CARL was born CARLA. I hope that's not a problem :P

New York's longest night: Manhattan goes dark, 6 MILLION without power and 16 dead as Sandy throws 13 foot wall of water at US


New York's longest night: Manhattan goes dark, 6 MILLION without power and 16 dead as Sandy throws 13 foot wall of water at US


  • Storm damage projected at £12bn // Sandy kills at least 16 people in US and Canada - including five deaths in New York
  • At least 6.2m power customers across US East have lost power // New York City could be without power for a week
  • NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg: 'We knew this was going to be very dangerous. This is a once-in-a-long-time storm'
  • Bloomberg says city's 911 dispatchers are receiving 20,000 calls per hour and area without power is south of 34th St
  • Mass transit system, schools, stock exchange and Broadway shut, as water overflows NYC's historic waterfront
  • Record 13ft storm surge threatening lower Manhattan and howling winds left crane hanging from high-rise building
  • NYU Hospital loses backup power and evacuates patients // 19 workers trapped in Consolidated Edison power station 



    New York City was this morning plunged into darkness by a superstorm that overflowed its historic waterfront, flooded the financial district and subway tunnels and cut power to hundreds of thousands of people.
    Superstorm Sandy knocked out power to at least 6.2million people across the US East, and large sections of Manhattan were plunged into darkness by the storm, with 250,000 customers without power as water pressed into the island from three sides, flooding rail yards, subway tracks, tunnels and roads.
    The city had shut its mass transit system, schools, the stock exchange and Broadway and ordered hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers to leave home to get out of the way. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg said the city's 911 dispatchers are receiving about 20,000 calls per hour.
    The revelation came following an extraordinary day that saw the storm close in and converge with a cold-weather system that turned it into a superstorm, a monstrous hybrid consisting not only of rain and high wind but snow in West Virginia and other mountainous areas inland.
    Blackout: The skyline of lower Manhattan sits in darkness after a preventive power outage in New York on Monday night
    Blackout: The skyline of lower Manhattan sits in darkness after a preventive power outage in New York on Monday night
    Empire State: The New York skyline remains dark on Monday as seen from the Williamsburg neighbourhood in the Brooklyn borough of New York
    Empire State: The New York skyline remains dark on Monday as seen from the Williamsburg neighbourhood in the Brooklyn borough of New York
    Lights out: Lower Manhattan goes dark during the hybrid storm Sandy on Monday, viewed from the Brooklyn borough of New York
    Lights out: Lower Manhattan goes dark during the hybrid storm Sandy on Monday, viewed from the Brooklyn borough of New York
    Skyline: Brooklyn Bridge Park pictured here after it flooded following the arrival of Sandy, which has made landfall on the East Coast of the US
    Add caption
    Skyline: Brooklyn Bridge Park pictured here after it flooded following the arrival of Sandy, which has made landfall on the East Coast of the US
    Bang: This image from video provided by Dani Hart shows what appears to be a transformer exploding in lower Manhattan as seen from a building rooftop in Brooklyn
    Bang: This image from video provided by Dani Hart shows what appears to be a transformer exploding in lower Manhattan as seen from a building rooftop in Brooklyn
    Bright light: This photo shows what appear to be transformers exploding after much of lower Manhattan lost power during Superstorm Sandy in New York
    Bright light: This photo shows what appear to be transformers exploding after much of lower Manhattan lost power during Superstorm Sandy in New York
    Flooding: Water rushes into the Carey Tunnel (previously the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel), caused by Sandy on Monday night in the financial district of New York
    Flooding: Water rushes into the Carey Tunnel (previously the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel), caused by Sandy on Monday night in the financial district of New York
    Gushing water: Sea water floods the Ground Zero construction site on Monday in New York
    Gushing water: Sea water floods the Ground Zero construction site on Monday in New York
    Extraordinary: This CCTV photo shows flood waters from Hurricane Sandy rushing in to the Hoboken PATH train station through an elevator shaft in New Jersey
    Extraordinary: This CCTV photo shows flood waters from Hurricane Sandy rushing in to the Hoboken PATH train station through an elevator shaft in New Jersey
    Help: New York City resident Gary He posted this picture with the caption 'Dude in snorkeling mask trying to rescue his friend in Greenpoint (Brooklyn)'
    Help: New York City resident Gary He posted this picture with the caption 'Dude in snorkeling mask trying to rescue his friend in Greenpoint (Brooklyn)'

    SANDY KILLS AT LEAST 16 PEOPLE

    At least 16 people have died in the devastation wreaked by Superstorm Sandy - including two children killed instantly by a falling tree.
    The children aged 11 and 13 were crushed by the toppled tree as they played outside their home in Westchester County, New York state at 6.45pm on Sunday. 
    Other fatalities include a woman who was electrocuted to death by falling wires on Manhattan’s 134th street and a 29-year-old man who was killed in a car crash in Queens.
    A man was crushed by a falling tree in Ulster County, New York State, and one death has been reported in Connecticut and two people were killed when their pick-up was crushed by  a falling tree in New Jersey. 
    Police in Toronto said a woman was killed by a falling sign as high winds closed in on Canada's largest city. 
    A 30-year-old man was killed when a tree fell on his house on 166th street in Flushing, New York City.
    Meanwhile a 62-year-old man was killed as he let his dog out on his porch in Oley, Pennsylvania. 
    An eight-year-old boy died when he was crushed by a falling tree in Susquehanna County, Pennsylvania.
    And a jogger was reportedly hospitalised after being crushed by a falling tree in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park.
    It smacked the boarded-up big cities of the Northeast corridor - Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia, New York and Boston - with stinging rain and gusts of more than 85 mph.
    Deaths were reported in New Jersey, New York, West Virginia, Pennsylvania and Connecticut, with five of these in New York. Some of the victims were killed by falling trees, including one in Queens, New York. At least one death was blamed on the storm in Canada. 
    Storm damage was projected at up to £12million, meaning it could be one of the costliest natural disasters in US history. Nineteen workers were trapped inside a Consolidated Edison power station in east Manhattan by rising floodwaters, with a rescue worker saying it had suffered an explosion inside.
    Firefighters used inflatable orange boats to rescue the utility workers trapped for three hours. One of the Con Ed workers pulled from the floodwater, Angelo Amato, said he was part of a crew who had offered to work through the storm. 'This is what happens when you volunteer,' he said.
    About 670,000 customers were without power late Monday in New York City and suburban Westchester County. 'This will be one for the record books,' ConEdison spokesman John Miksad. 'This will be the largest storm-related outage in our history.' 
    Because a customer is defined as an individual meter, the actual number of people affected is probably much higher. It could be several days to a week before all residents who lost power during the storm get their lights back, Mr Miksad said. 
    Wall Street is expected to remain closed today, while the United Nations cancelled all meetings at its New York headquarters. 
    Residents in New York City spent much of yesterday trying to salvage normal routines, jogging and snapping pictures of the water while officials warned the worst of the storm had not hit. 
    Water lapped over the seawall in Battery Park City, flooding rail yards, subway tracks, tunnels and roads.
    No go area: An uprooted tree blocks 7th street near Avenue D in the East Village as a result of high winds from Sandy on Monday in Manhattan, New York
    No go area: An uprooted tree blocks 7th street near Avenue D in the East Village as a result of high winds from Sandy on Monday in Manhattan, New York
    No train service: Veronica De Souza posted this extraordinary picture ('via ninjapito') on Twitter of the 86th Street station with water above the platform
    No train service: Veronica De Souza posted this extraordinary picture ('via ninjapito') on Twitter of the 86th Street station with water above the platform
    No lights: A power outage is seen on Monday in Manhattan, New York, with Hurricane Sandy threatening 50million people in the Mid-Atlantic area of the US
    No lights: A power outage is seen on Monday in Manhattan, New York, with Hurricane Sandy threatening 50million people in the Mid-Atlantic area of the US
    No movement: Vehicles are submerged on 14th Street near the Consolidated Edison power plant on Monday in Manhattan, New York
    No movement: Vehicles are submerged on 14th Street near the Consolidated Edison power plant on Monday in Manhattan, New York
    Downed: A fallen tree lays along a darkened Sixth Avenue in Chelsea during a blackout caused by rising river waters as Hurricane Sandy made its approach in New York
    Downed: A fallen tree lays along a darkened Sixth Avenue in Chelsea during a blackout caused by rising river waters as Hurricane Sandy made its approach in New York
    Going nowhere: Chris Berg posted this picture of the flooded Midtown Tunnel in New York City after Sandy hit the US East Coast on Monday night
    Going nowhere: Chris Berg posted this picture of the flooded Midtown Tunnel in New York City after Sandy hit the US East Coast on Monday night
    By yesterday evening, a record 13ft storm surge was threatening Manhattan's southern tip, howling winds had left a crane hanging from a high-rise block, and utilities deliberately darkened part of downtown Manhattan to avoid storm damage.
    ‘It's really a complete ghost town now,’ said Stephen Weisbrot, from a powerless 10th-floor apartment in lower Manhattan. Mayor Bloomberg said the area without power in Manhattan is roughly south of 34th Street.
    Mammoth storm: This satellite picture released by NASA shows Hurricane Sandy approaching the densely populated US East Coast at 1:35pm EDT on Monday
    Mammoth storm: This satellite picture released by NASA shows Hurricane Sandy approaching the densely populated US East Coast at 1:35pm EDT on Monday
    Underwater: A vehicle is submerged on 14th Street near the Consolidated Edison power plant on Monday night in New York
    Underwater: A vehicle is submerged on 14th Street near the Consolidated Edison power plant on Monday night in New York
    Fire rescue: An FDNY inflatable is prepared for launch along 14th street east of Avenue B where water has trapped people in the wake of Hurricane Sandy
    Fire rescue: An FDNY inflatable is prepared for launch along 14th street east of Avenue B where water has trapped people in the wake of Hurricane Sandy
    Journey: Graphic showing the current position of the superstorm after it swept up the US East Coast
    Journey: Graphic showing the current position of the superstorm after it swept up the US East Coast
    Rescue workers floated bright orange rafts down flooded downtown streets, while police officers rolled slowly down the street with loudspeakers telling people to go home. 
    ‘Now it's really turning into something,’ said Brian Damianakes, taking shelter in an ATM vestibule and watching a rubbish bin blow down the street in Battery Park before the storm surge.
    Mayor Bloomberg said last night that the surge was expected to recede by midnight, after exceeding an original expectation of 11ft.
    'We knew that this was going to be a very dangerous storm and the storm has met our expectations,’ he said. ‘This is a once-in-a-long-time storm.’
    Submerged: Instagram user 'Jesse and Greg' posted this incredible picture of East Village flooding in Manhattan, New York
    Submerged: Instagram user 'Jesse and Greg' posted this incredible picture of East Village flooding in Manhattan, New York
    Above waist high: A man wearing a snorkel is seen wading through the water in New York City on Monday night
    Above waist high: A man wearing a snorkel is seen wading through the water in New York City on Monday night
    Ship: This photo by Dylan Patrick shows flooding along the Westside Highway near the USS Intrepid, background centre, as Sandy moves through the area
    Ship: This photo by Dylan Patrick shows flooding along the Westside Highway near the USS Intrepid, background centre, as Sandy moves through the area
    Underwater: The surge from New York's East River has flooded East 20th Street, turning the road into a river
    Underwater: The surge from New York's East River has flooded East 20th Street, turning the road into a river
    Shortly after the massive storm made landfall in southern New Jersey, Consolidated Edison cut power deliberately to about 6,500 customers in downtown Manhattan to avert further damage. Then, huge swaths of the city went dark, losing power to 250,000 customers in Manhattan, Con Ed spokesman Chris Olert said.
    The New York University Langone Medical Center in midtown Manhattan was this morning evacuating 215 patients to local hospitals by ambulance after their backup power generator failed following the power outage.
    Late last night, a bright orange explosion lit up the night sky on the east side of lower Manhattan, near a Con Ed substation. ‘It sounded like the Fourth of July,’ said Mr Weisbrot.
    Another 1million customers lost power earlier on Monday in New York City, the northern suburbs and coastal Long Island, where floodwaters swamped cars, downed trees and put neighbourhoods under water.
    Sailboats rock in choppy water at a dock along the Hudson River Greenway as one thousand more troops have been drafted in
    Sailboats rock in choppy water at a dock along the Hudson River Greenway as one thousand more troops have been drafted in
    Leaving: Guests in the lobby of Le Parker Meridien hotel just south of Central Park prepare to move to other hotels after a nearby construction crane collapsed
    Leaving: Guests in the lobby of Le Parker Meridien hotel just south of Central Park prepare to move to other hotels after a nearby construction crane collapsed
    Cars were flooded in the Financial District of New York as Hurricane Sandy threatens 50million people on the East Coast
    Cars were flooded in the Financial District of New York as Hurricane Sandy threatens 50million people on the East Coast
    As flood waters surge, expected to rise to 10ft, nearly all bridges and tunnels into and out of New York are closed to the public
    As flood waters surge, expected to rise to 10ft, nearly all bridges and tunnels into and out of New York are closed to the public
    A person holds onto to a flooded car as the flood water rises in New York
    A person holds onto to a flooded car as the flood water rises in New York
    Isolated: Jane's Carousel, the vintage merry-go-round in Brooklyn Bridge Park, in the DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass) section of Brooklyn, is 'basically an island now', Instagram user Andjelicaaa said
    Isolated: Jane's Carousel, the vintage merry-go-round in Brooklyn Bridge Park, in the DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass) section of Brooklyn, is 'basically an island now', Instagram user Andjelicaaa said
    The storm had only killed one New York City resident by last night, a man who died when a tree fell on his home in the Flushing section of Queens.
    The rains and howling winds, some believed to reach more than 95mph, left a crane hanging off a luxury high-rise in midtown Manhattan, causing the evacuation of hundreds from a posh hotel and other buildings. Inspectors were climbing 74 flights of stairs to examine the crane.
    The facade of a four-story Manhattan building in the Chelsea neighbourhood crumbled and collapsed suddenly, leaving the lights, couches, cabinets and desks inside visible from the street. No one was hurt, although some of the falling debris hit a car.
    On coastal Long Island, floodwaters swamped cars, downed trees and put neighborhoods under water as beachfronts and fishing villages bore the brunt of the storm. A police car was lost rescuing 14 people from the popular resort Fire Island.
    The city shut all three of its airports, its subways, schools, stock exchanges, Broadway theatres and closed several bridges and tunnels throughout the day as the weather worsened.
    Earlier, some New Yorkers defiantly soldiered on, trying to salvage normal routines and refusing to evacuate, as the mayor ordered 375,000 in low-lying areas to do.
    Flood waters have overwhelmed the entrance of the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel as nearly all bridges and tunnels into and out of New York are closed to the public
    Flood waters have overwhelmed the entrance of the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel as nearly all bridges and tunnels into and out of New York are closed to the public
    Flood water rushes into a below-ground carpark in New York's Financial District
    Flood water rushes into a below-ground carpark in New York's Financial District
    Tanja Stewart and her 7-year-old son, Finn, came from their home in Manhattan's TriBeCa neighborhood to admire the white caps on the Hudson, Finn wearing a pair of binoculars around his neck. ‘I really wanted to see some big waves,’ he said.
    Keith Reilly posed in an Irish football jersey for a picture above the rising waters of New York Harbor with the Statue of Liberty in the background. ‘This is not so bad right now,’ said the 25-year-old Reilly.
    On Long Island, floodwaters had begun to deluge some low-lying towns and nearly 150,000 customers had lost power. Cars floated along the streets of Long Beach and flooding consumed several blocks south of the bay, residents said.
    New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, holding a news conference on Long Island where the lights flickered and his mike went in and out, said most of the National Guards deployed to the New York City area would go to Long Island.
    Anoush Vargas drove with her husband, Michael to the famed Jones Beach on Monday morning, only to find it covered by water.
    ‘We have no more beach. It's gone,’ she said, shaking her head as she watched the waves go under the boardwalk.

    NYC'S HISTORY OF HURRICANES

    1821 Hurricane: Without modern technology, the hurricane in September, 1821, caught New Yorkers off guard when, in one hour, the tide rose 13 feet. The East River and Hudson River breached, with their waters meeting across Lower Manhattan. The area was not largely populated then, so there were few deaths
    1893 Hurricane A Category 1 hurricane completely destroyed Hog Island, a resort island in southern Queens
    1938 Hurricane Nearly 200 people were killed when the Category 3 hurricane swept over Long Island and into New England. It caused millions of dollars of damages in NYC, where it killed 10 people and destroyed hundreds of trees in Central Park
    1954, Carol The hurricane, which had sustained winds of more than 100mph, hit eastern Long Island and caused major flooding throughout New York City
    1955, Connie and Diane Rain from the two hurricanes caused flooding across the city. There were more than 200 deaths in Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey
    1960, Donna The hurricane created an 11-foot storm tide in the New York Harbor, inflicting extensive pier damage
    1972, Agnes The tropical storm flooded areas from North Caroline to New York and caused 122 deaths and more than $6 billion in damage
    1985, Gloria Serious damage was inflicted on Long Island
    1996, Bertha The tropical storm washed out the city in July 1966
    1999, Floyd The tropical storm hit New Jersey and New York with 60mph winds and dropped up to 15 inches of rain. Flash flooding forced residents from their homes
    2011, Irene The hurricane was downgraded to a tropical storm just before hitting the city, which had issued mandatory evacuation orders for those living along the coast. Up to 7 inches of rain fell as winds reached 65 mph. It inflicted an estimated $100 million in damages
     Source: Information from the New York City and Nassau County Offices of Emergency Management



    Jah Kimbuteh with Roots &Kulture Band



    Muhasisi wa mwanzo wa mziki wa hisia kali " Reggae" Afrika ya  Mashariki. 


    Unapouzungumzia mziki wa Reggae au mziki wa hisia kali nchini Tanzania 
    na Afrika Mashariki jina la Jah Kimbuteh atuwezi kulikwepa, mwanamziki huyu mtanzania na bendi yake "Roots and Kulture band,aliyoianzisha mwaka 1983. 
    Jah Kimbuteh ni mwanamziki wa mwanzo wa afrika mashariki kuanza kupiga 
    mtindo wa Reggae na kufanikiwa kupata umaarufu ndani na nje ya Tanzania,pamoja na kufanya maonyesho ya ndani ya nchini Tanzania, Jah Kimbuteh na bendi yake "Roots and Kulture" walifanikiwa kufanya ziara za 
    kimziki katika nchi sita zilizokuwa mstari wa mbele katika ukumbozi wa Afrika,pia kufanikiwa kufanya maonyesho katika nchi za ulaya kama vile Norway na Austria.



    Mara nyingi mziki wake umekua ukiimbwa kwa lugha ya kiswahili na
    kingereza ,na ujumbe uliopo katika nyimbo zake kwa miaka ya 1980s alikuwa anaimiza sana ukumbozi wa nchi za kusini mwa Afrika. baada ya ukombozi huo Jah Kimbuteh aliendelea kutumia mziki wa Reggae na kuimba katika maswala ya nayo husu jamii. Jah Kimbuteh CD zake za mwisho ni "True Democrasy" na "I am The Lion" baada ya hapo amekuwa kimya kwa mapumziko ya mda mfupi..lakini washabiki wake wamekua wakijiuliza lini? mwanamziki huyu muhasisi Reggae wa Afrika Mashariki atapanda tena jukwaani na kuliendeleza 
    libeneke..la Reggae? au ? swali hili atalijibu Jah Kimbuteh mwenyewe ambaye bado tegemeo kwa washabiki labda tutafutieni 00255(0)752240938 au 0752240930

    Source: 
    msemakweli2007@yahoo.com

    Tahadhali kwa wanaotangaziwa kuuzwa kwa viwanja Ufukweni Kimbiji



    Wanunuzi kabla hamjanunua viwanja hivyo tafadhalini sana kwanza wasiliana na ofisi ya serikali ya kijiji au ofisi ya katibu mtendaji Kimbiji,hili ujue uhalali wa umiliki wa muuzaji,pia mnashauriwa kuwasiliana na uongozi wa kijiji kimbiji,Diwani simu namba 0713768082, Mwenyekiti simu 0713846688 viongozi wa kijiji wanayajua vema maeneo na wamiliki halali wa maeneo haya.

    Wenu watiifu
    wanakijiji kimbiji

    DUME Challenge Episode 8

    Tuesday, October 30, 2012

    Hope and Giving God Glory


    Romans 5:3-5

    Sometimes God is glorified through the removal of an affliction. When we have a problem, and people pray with us about it, and it is resolved, we praise God for that. If a physician performs surgery, and that loved one is cancer-free, we thank God.
    But then there are times when the surgery doesn't go as well as we had hoped. There are times when the illness is not removed. The problem is not taken away. It is then that God can be glorified through the enduring of the affliction. And it is through hardship that we will develop hope.

    You would think the best way to find hope is to have a trouble-free life. No, the best way to find hope is through the crises of life. Tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
    Hope is going to come through hardship. So when a Christian suffers and still glorifies God, it reassures the rest of us there never will be a valley so deep that God will not get us through it.

     
    Mariam. (Mama Joe)
    Grace is the heavenly resource behind all of God's promises.
    Faith is the simple means of accessing that grace
    ...............................................