How to Heal

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Growing up in Tanzania, I never heard of any family member, neighbor or a close friend that went for counseling. I don't know if that was because there were not as many counselors around or it was just not part of "our" culture. This however, does not mean people did not find healthy outlets when faced with challenges in life. I do remember hearing my mother talk about people going to Priests and Pastors (spiritual leaders) for advice in matters related to marriage, or if a family member acts abnormal due to being demon possessed (as it's widely believed in our culture). 

Little did I know counseling is not a foreign concept in Tanzania, I was just among the unfortunate few who were not exposed to it. I would have never thought of this topic if I were in Tanzania, beacuse needing a professional help to heal from certain issues never crossed my mind. I have enough people around while in Tanzania, people that I can approach when I need someone to talk to or when seeking advice. And it has worked very well all these years, until I was struck by grief for losing my dad. 

The first time knowing what counseling is all about, was in a movie. But I still related counseling to something that people with "crazy" issues do. Not once did I think someone can go to a counselor because they need grief counseling after losing a loved one or for going through a divorce / separation. Not once did I think someone can need to see a counselor because their habits cause them to self sabotage. I always thought those who need counseling are broken. I later realized that seeking help means you are in need of advice from someone with textbook knowledge on what you are going through, and might help you through your journey of figuring things out, for your betterment. 

I have heard and read articles about people looking down on those who seek help from counselors. But my truth is this, this stigma will not go away if movies keep portraying characters with extreme or severe conditions as the only group of people that go for counselling/therapy. We have to normalize counselling in order to save lives. We need to support those going through issues that don't fall under the "crazy" issues category, because mental health struggles are real no matter the cause or intensity.

In a world where we are so easily misunderstood and judged, we don't stand a chance of survival if we can't express our issues whether big or small. We have to have a place where we can share our frustrations, concerns, worries, doubts, etc, without the fear of our 'issues' being gossiped about. We need counselling.

Love,

MamaTembo